When does the chase end? Taft Today‘s secret admirers are here to find out, what’s the big deal with situationships? Do students at Taft value labels? How do you determine the level of commitment with your significant other?
Gen Z at Taft High School is said to have previous records of, we’ll call it, return rates and sloppy seconds. This could mean messy business regarding wanting something serious that people don’t have experience with and being eager for love. But how can someone determine whether their situationship is serious or not?
“Within our society, everything is already labeled. If it’s classified as ‘we’re just messing around’, and I end up finding out they’re messing with someone else, I technically can’t be mad. Just don’t be mad when I pop out myself,” said Kadiatou Diallo, a senior at Taft.
Diallo demonstrates that you shouldn’t be fixated on someone if they aren’t on the same page. She proves that you should be resilient in not giving the energy they don’t deserve. Being on the same page is important to gain a basis for the intentions of both individuals.
It’s the idea of knowing your self-worth and coming to terms with the fact that if someone doesn’t reciprocate the emotions you have in store for them, they simply aren’t worth your time. This is where it gets confusing. How do you know how the other person feels if it’s too intimidating to ask?
When asking how the other person feels, it can feel like you’re taking the “situationship” too fast, but this only builds communication. Communicating about how you feel allows the other person to see what exactly you want in this “situationship” and the intentions you both have.
“You shouldn’t be looking for any situationships if you’re not ready for a relationship. At the end of the day, it’s two people who don’t know what they want because neither can communicate,” said John Garcia, a security guard at Taft.
Essentially, you build this false portrait of them, and when they don’t live up to it, you get disappointed. But if you’re able to identify your delusional thinking in time, you’ll be able to realize that this person has about a million red flags; they’re not your soulmate.
When evaluating your situationship with someone else, recognize all the factors that influence how you both act. You don’t want to be with someone that expects highly of you but doesn’t do the bare minimum.
We decided to interview someone who has had a prolonged experience with love, specifically over 20 years. “I believe you have to be respectful to others’ wishes and openly communicate like ‘Hey, I really like you but I’m also interested in somebody else.’ That’s something you shouldn’t keep from somebody. Communicate,” said Graham Baruch, a teacher at Taft.
“I think loneliness can be awful, so we do what we can to get out of feeling lonely. Including making things out to be what they’re not,” said Baruch. This is where the idea of delusions come to play.
Sometimes you need to realize that you fell in love with the person you created in your mind. Humans tend to look for the good in others, and that can overpower how the person is seen as a whole. It’s easy to take all the good signs as a sign but recognize the bad ones as one too. In simple terms, and not to be rude, you’re a victim of delusion.
It sounds like the universal problem in many situationships is communication. When dissecting situationship, it’s important to evaluate all the pros and cons of each other. What’s something they can work on? What’s something you can work on?
Remember you can’t change a person, don’t settle for less just because it’s right in front of you. Communicate with your significant other and understand what you’re looking for before starting something. Don’t be a bop.
